


Deserving of Happieness

by songofhell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But Not Much, M/M, but there's still a lot of sastiel, it's mostly drowley, particularly at the end, there's also destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6409807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofhell/pseuds/songofhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley and Sam are jealous of Dean and Castiel’s relationship, but when Crowley gets injured while helping on a hunt, Dean begins to rethink a few things, and he’s not the only one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deserving of Happieness

Crowley wasn’t surprised. He really shouldn’t be, after all. He knew full well that they were together now, and he knew what popping in without knocking first could get him. Still, he didn’t appreciate the sight that greeted him in the Winchesters’ motel room – in particular, the fact that Dean Winchester and Castiel were locked in a kiss that didn’t look to be ending anytime soon.

He wasn’t sure what he hated more – the fact that Castiel had gotten to Dean first, or how jealous he was over it. As the King of Hell he had every right to be angry, possessive, but jealous? No, that implied that he cared. Which, unfortunately, when it came to Dean, he cared very much, which was why he was here in the first place.

Unable to watch them a moment longer, his eyes slid to the side and landed on Sam. The younger Winchester was looking at the floor, an expression that was all too familiar to Crowley on his face. _Ah, now that was interesting._ And now that he thought about it, he really should have seen it before now. Apparently, he had something in common with his least favorite Winchester, after all.

Sam looked up then, meeting Crowley’s eyes. He had to hand it to him, he cleared up the hurt in his expression almost instantly. He looked more confused now – probably trying to figure out Crowley’s expression, since he would never believe a demon would have the emotions that were currently showing on his face. Of course, he could have covered them up as well, but he was trying to communicate with Sam that he understood – something that was clearly going nowhere.

Ah, well. It wasn’t that big a deal, anyway. He quickly dawned his typical smirk and cleared his throat. “Did I miss the memo that there would be a live show?”

Dean immediately propelled himself back from his boyfriend, blushing a deep red. “C-Crowley!” He was looking everywhere but at the demon. “I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.”

“You called, I came.”

Castiel, who had been looking between Dean and Crowley with a rather confused expression, seemed to decide that there were more important things to focus on than figuring out what the live show was. He settled his attention on Crowley with slightly narrowed eyes. “And what’s the price?”

Crowley glanced toward the angel, his expression superior. “Pardon?”

“You never do anything without getting something in return, Crowley. What is it?” He shifted his stance as he spoke to angle himself between Dean and Crowley. Oh great, he had gone all protective boyfriend now. Crowley wanted nothing more than to plunge his angel blade through his heart.

But instead he remained collected and simply smiled. “No price. You caught me in a good mood.” Alright, he was in a terrible mood, but he’d told far worse lies.

Sam made a noise somewhere between a scoff and a grunt, and Crowley turned towards him with a raised eyebrow. “Use your words, moose.”

“You’ve been giving away a lot of freebees, lately,” he accused.

Crowley shrugged. “What can I say? I’ve been feeling generous.”

“Yeah, how about we not complain that the King of Hell is willing to help us?” Dean suggested.

“You know, the more time I spend with you two, the more I believe that Dean truly is the smarter one.” He shot Dean a grin, the heart that he had only recently discovered that he had growing warm when it was returned.

And that was apparently the missing puzzle piece for Sam. His eyes flickered between the two of them and understanding lit his face. Now it was just a test of whether or not Sam would spill the beans. At least Crowley knew that if Sam told his secret, then he had a secret of equal value that he could divulge.

But Sam just shrugged it off, his attention turning to Dean. “Whatever. Let’s just get to the case.”

Crowley wasn’t entirely sure why Dean had called him in on this one – it was bad, sure, but the boys had handled worse on their own. People in the town had been sporadically dropping dead with no apparent rhyme or reason. Someone would be walking through the grocery store, and then would just drop. The only potential cause that anyone could find was hypothermia, but none of them had a history, and it was the middle of the summer. Twelve people had dropped dead so far, and none of them had any health issues, or had anything in common, that anyone could tell.

They decided to split off in pairs, one to talk to the friends and family, and one to check out where the people had died. As expected, Dean and Castiel paired off together, leaving Crowley with Sam. At least they had the more preferable task, in Crowley’s opinion – it seemed that no one thought it would be a good idea for Crowley to be the one talking to people.

“So, how long have you been smitten with the angel?” Crowley asked as they looked over the most recent crime scene – some indie music store downtown.

Sam’s eyes snapped to Crowley in a glare. “How long have you had a thing for Dean?” he countered.

“Not sure. I was in denial for a while, so I don’t know when it actually started.”

“Yeah, well… same here.”

Sam turned back to checking the area for hex bags – there hadn’t been any at the other sites, but this death had only happened today, and there hadn’t been as much time for clean-up. Crowley didn’t feel like mentioning that he would be able to sense if there was a hex bag; instead, he watched Sam for a few moments before speaking up again, his tone softer, more sincere. “Dean has no idea, does he?”

Sam paused in his searching, but didn’t look back at him. “Dean’s _happy,_ Cas is _happy._ I don’t want to ruin that.”

“You’re not happy. I’m _definitely_ not happy. Why can’t we get what we want?”

Sam turned around to face him. “I don’t know, but we can’t. Don’t you dare ruin this for them.”

“If I was going to, I would have done something by now. I wouldn’t drag out the misery.” That came out more bitter and honest than he had intended, and he could certainly tell by the change in Sam’s expression.

“You really care about him, don’t you?”

It was Crowley’s turn to turn away. He began inspecting the shelves that had been behind him. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “I’ll get over it.” Except he had been trying to get over it since he had first realized he had feelings for Dean, and he was getting nowhere.

“Right…”

Crowley cleared his throat as he turned around. “There’s no hex bag here. Whoever did this was in the building.”

“Witnesses said no one did anything, he just dropped.”

“No, they didn’t _see_ anyone do anything.” Crowley glanced up at the camera in the corner of the shop. “Care to hack into the security feed?”

Sam flashed his FBI badge and they were let into the back office. It was a small room, horribly disorganized, but at least the computer worked. Sam settled down in the only chair and Crowley stood beside him as he pulled up the feed at the time of death.

They watched as a tall man who looked rather sickly with how extremely skinny he was, his pale skin and hair standing out even more so with the black pants and black tank top he was wearing, approached the most recent victim. It was subtle, and if the camera wasn’t angled the way it was, they might not have been able to see it, but his hand brushed briefly against the boy’s exposed skin. Just a few seconds later, the boy dropped, his skin now drained of color.

“Well, found our man,” Sam muttered as he zoomed in on tall, pale, and sickly as he walked out the door. “Have any idea what he is?”

“I suppose he could be a witch, but…” Crowley shook his head slightly. “Somehow, I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, me neither. We should see what Dean and Cas found.”

They went out the back way, into an alley, to avoid any more questions from the manager.

“This killer’s been moving in a line across the town,” Sam mused as they walked. “If there’s going to be another killing, it wouldn’t be too far from here.”

“Probably.” Crowley glanced around, then held out his hand. “Come on, there’s no one around. Let’s get back to the hotel.”

“Wait. If the next killing’s going to be in this area, we might be able to-”

“Get ourselves killed? I know you want to throw your life away saving people, but we don’t know anything about this thing.”

“If someone is going to die here, I can’t just leave.”

Crowley sighed, shaking his head. And that was when he saw him, only a few feet away from Sam and moving closer was the same guy from the video. He really did look creepier in person.

He reached out a hand towards Sam, and Crowley leapt forward, pushing the hunter out of the way. He didn’t move quite fast enough, though, and as he felt a touch to his throat, a feeling of immense cold spread through him.

Sam pulled out his gun and fired off a few shots at the thing as it walked away – they all just bounced off of him – while Crowley slid to the ground, shivering. Once the thing disappeared from view, Sam knelt beside him.

“Are you okay?” he asked urgently, his hand on Crowley’s shoulder.

“I-I’m the King of Hell. Can’t kill me that easily.” His expression was terrified, though, as he curled into a ball on the pavement. Because he could feel the cold overcoming him, and he honestly wasn’t sure if is strength would keep him alive, or would just drag out the process. With the way that he was feeling right now, he was leaning toward the latter.

Sam’s eyes quickly scanned over Crowley, clearly seeing through the lie. He pulled out his phone quickly, dialing a number before bringing it to his ear. “Dean,” he spoke urgently.

Crowley could faintly hear talking from the other, but he couldn’t make it out. As a matter of fact, it was proving difficult to really focus on anything, at the moment.

“Dean, shut up! Crowley’s hurt.” The next pause was much briefer, then Sam gave the address of where they were.

A moment later, Castiel flew Dean into the alley, just a couple feet away from them. Dean immediately broke away from the angel, taking the couple of necessary steps to come forward and kneel down on Crowley’s other side. The demon was surprised when he looked up to see genuine concern in Dean’s eyes.

“How bad?” He held Crowley’s eyes as he spoke, his voice soft, yet demanding.

“Results haven’t come out yet,” he managed to get out without stammering.

“Whatever’s been killing these people got him,” Sam supplied and Dean’s eyes flickered up to him. “We saw the footage of the last death – he touches a person, then they drop dead. But-”

“But it couldn’t kill you,” Dean said quickly, turning his attention back to Crowley. “So you’ll recover, right?”

Crowley didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to say aloud that whatever this was may just be killing him slowly, but that very well might be the truth. Thankfully, Castiel answered for him.

“It really depends on what did this.” His voice was indifferent as he walked up to stand behind Dean. “Very few things would kill Crowley instantly. Most would take more time.”

“So you’re saying he’s dying?” Dean ground his teeth together as he stared at the ground.

“Probably.”

“Dammit!” He looked back up at Crowley with determination in his eyes. “We’re going to find a cure for this, alright?”

Crowley blinked in surprise, a feeling of warmth that didn’t quite combat the cold spreading through him. For once, he couldn’t think of what to say, so he just nodded.

Dean hooked a hand under Crowley’s arm and helped him to his feet, keeping an arm around him to hold him up as the demon curled into his side, shivering. “Cas, get us back to the motel.”

Crowley turned his head slightly to look at the angel. His eyes were on the pair of them, an expression that Crowley knew all too well on his face. But surely he couldn’t think that Dean had feelings for _him?_ This was simply him being the hero – it was nothing new. It was certainly no reason for Castiel to get his wings ruffled. The angel gave a curt nod as he walked over and transported them all back to the motel room.

“Come on, bed,” Dean muttered as soon as they arrived, leading Crowley over to one of the beds in the room. He helped Crowley maneuver under the covers, tucking them in around him. “How’s that?”

“C-Cold.”

Dean spun around to face Sam. “So, this thing kills by hypothermia, right?”

“Something like it, at least,” the younger Winchester amended.

“So what do you know about it? What can be done to cure it?”

“Well, for normal hypothermia, you would warm him up. But I don’t think it’s going to be that simple.”

“It’s a start, at least.” He walked over to the thermostat on the wall, turning it up all the way. “Cas…. Cas?”

“Cas left, Dean,” Sam said softly.

Dean looked around, his gaze resting on Crowley just long enough for the demon to read the guilt in his eyes before he looked away. “Right. Well… start looking into hypothermia and the things that cause it, I’m going to go by that place next door to get him something warm to eat.”

Sam nodded as Dean headed out the door.

“It’s dif-different being on th-this side,” Crowley mumbled after the door closed behind Dean.

Sam looked at him as he made his way over to his computer. “What do you mean?”

“D-Dean t-trying to save me.”

Sam smiled a little and nodded as he took a seat at the table. “Yeah, well, when Dean cares about someone, he doesn’t let them die easy.”

“He d-doesn’t care, j-just a her-ero.” Dammit, this stammering was embarrassing.

“No. I know Dean, I know what he’s like when he’s fighting for someone he really cares about. He cares about you.”

Crowley didn’t feel like going through the effort of replying again, so he just shook his head as he snuggled into the blankets. Sam was already pulling up the internet on his laptop, and didn’t pay him any notice. “’M sleepy,” he murmured after a few minutes.

Sam’s gaze snapped back to him. “You need to stay awake, Crowley.”

Crowley’s eyes were already drifting shut. “’M fine.”

_“Crowley!”_ Sam’s voice was sharp. “Stay with me.”

Once again, Crowley decided that a reply wasn’t worth the effort and he felt himself starting to drift into unconsciousness. He felt so tired, his body so exhausted. Demons didn’t normally sleep, but right now he needed it. He felt as though if he just got some sleep, when he woke up everything would be better.

_“Crowley!”_ It was a different voice, one that cut through the haziness overtaking him, coupled with a hand shaking his shoulder.

“Wha’?” he complained as his eyelids fluttered open and his eyes settled on Dean’s face.

“Sam says you’re not allowed to sleep till you’re better. Doctor’s orders.”

“B-But I’m tired.”

“Yeah, that’s your body trying to shut down,” Sam interjected.

“Come on.” Dean sat on the edge of the bed beside Crowley and grabbed a cup of soup that had been sitting on the table. “Try eating this, maybe it’ll help.” He scooped up a spoonful and brought it to Crowley’s lips, who shuddered slightly as he swallowed it. He hardly felt the warmth.

“Sam, you find anything?” Dean asked as he continued feeding Crowley the soup.

“Be gentle,” Sam began to read off the computer. “Don’t massage or rub, move out of cold, cover with blankets, monitor breathing, provide warm beverages, share body heat-“

“Like cuddle up with him, or…?” Dean’s cheeks turned faintly pink.

“Um, it’s talking skin-to-skin contact.”

“Right…” He hesitated, looking at Crowley nervously before setting the soup aside and beginning to strip out of his shirt.

Crowley blinked at him in surprise. “…Dean?”

“It’ll warm you up,” he muttered as he pulled off his pants and tossed them aside. He pulled the blankets away from Crowley and began pulling his clothes off, his cheeks now bright red.

“M-Maybe hy-hypothermia isn’t so b-bad,” Crowley murmured as his eyes roamed over his exposed body.

Oh, Dean _could_ go even redder. He silently rid Crowley of all his clothes, save his boxers, then pulled the blankets up around the both of them. Crowley settled into his side as Dean wrapped his arms around him, the demon burying his face in his shoulder. Dean shivered slightly and pulled him closer.

“Keep looking up stuff,” Dean’s voice was a little shaky as he spoke.

Crowley could feel Dean’s body-heat pressed against him, but it did little to warm past the surface of his skin. He was still freezing, and he doubted that there was anything Dean could do to fix it. Still, at least he could die pretending that Dean was holding him this way out of love.

They laid in mostly silence for a while. Every now and then, Dean would check to make sure Crowley was awake, check his breathing, but that was it. Crowley wasn’t sure how much time had passed before Sam spoke again.

“I think I found it. A Cryophoros – it translates to “bringer of cold.” Infecting people is how it feeds.”

“Great, so how do we save Crowley?” Dean demanded.

“I’m looking.”

“Y-You’re cute when you get all pr-protective,” Crowley mumbled.

Dean scoffed. “Great, now he’s delirious.”

“N-n-no, I-”

“Stop straining yourself, Crowley,” Sam interrupted before he could divulge anything. Apparently, Crowley was having a bit of difficulty with thinking clearly at the moment, particularly in the area of what he needed to shut up about around Dean; he was ready to say anything that came to his mind.

“Here,” Sam said after just a couple more seconds. “He has to drink the Cryophoros’s blood.”

“Gross,” Dean muttered. “Any particular amount?”

“From what I gather, it doesn’t have to be very much – just enough to get a decent-sized mouthful.”

“So, we kill the thing and get its blood. Easy enough. How do we kill it?”

“Fire.”

“Fun. Let’s…” Realization seemed to dawn on Dean. “I can’t leave Crowley.”

“I can take care of it.”

“Not on your own! Call Cas.”

“Dean-” Sam sighed.

“I’m sure he’ll come for you”

“You know why he left. It wouldn’t be fair to him.”

“And who will it be fair to if you die? Look, I’m the one he’s pissed at, not you. He doesn’t even have to see me. Just call him, have him meet you outside.”

Sam sighed. “Fine. I’ll ask.” There was a few seconds’ pause while he pulled out his phone and dialed. “…Hey, Cas. You okay?.... Not in the greatest shape, but we figured out how to cure him…. Yeah. Look, Cas, I’m sorry to ask…. Thank you. Meet me outside the motel?” He hung up and got to his feet, looking over at Dean. “When this is all over, you _have got_ to talk to him.”

“I will,” Dean sighed. “Just go kill this thing and get its blood.”

Crowley heard the sound of the door open and shut, and then it was just him and Dean – in bed – almost completely naked. This really should be a dream-come-true. Crowley forced his thoughts away from what he really wanted, reminding himself that he would never get it.

“Wh-What’s got your b-boyfriend all pissy?” he asked instead.

It took Dean a few seconds to answer. “This,” he finally sighed.

“Y-You’re b-being a hero. I-It’s who you are. He kn-knows that.”

“If only.” Dean’s voice was barely a whisper.

“He c-can’t th-think you _like_ m-me.”

Dean didn’t respond. Crowley waited a minute before he looked up at his face, catching the green eyes looking down at him. Dean immediately looked away.

“D-Dean?”

“Sam’s right,” he said softly. “You need to stop straining yourself.”

“B-But-”

“No. I’m not ready to talk about this yet.”

Dean’s voice was final, and normally that didn’t mean much to Crowley, but right now he was surprised enough to shut up. _Did_ Dean like him? Was Castiel upset for a perfectly legitimate reason? Was Dean considering… No. No, he couldn’t be. He loved Castiel, he would never leave him for a demon. Maybe there was something there, but it would never be enough to make a difference.

Crowley curled back into Dean once again, knowing that he needed to treasure the last moments he would be able to be this close to him. He breathed in his scent as he pressed as close to him as he could, one hand pressed between Dean’s back and the bed, and the other resting on top of his abdomen. They were silent until Sam walked through the door again.

“You get it?” Dean asked, pushing himself up slightly, while keeping an arm wrapped securely around Crowley.

“Yeah.” Sam held out a small phial of blue liquid. It did not look particularly appetizing.

Dean took it from him, looking down at it for a second before looking back up at his brother, the momentary relief in his eyes returning to worry. “Um, how’s Cas doing?”

“He’s keeping it together. You know him.”

“Yeah…. Did he say-?”

“No. And I didn’t ask. I don’t think he wanted to talk about it.”

Dean nodded. “Right.” He sighed as he uncorked the phial and brought it to Crowley’s lips. “Drink up.”

Crowley allowed himself a brief grimace before he swallowed the rather slimy blood down. Almost immediately he felt pinpricks of warmth spread through him – it was small, but it was something. He pulled away from Dean to sit up straight, his eyes flickering between the two brothers. “Thank you.”

Sam shrugged. “It really wasn’t that hard to get. And after all, you saved my life back there.” He glanced between Crowley and Dean before taking a step back, reaching behind himself for the door. “I’ll, um, leave you two alone.” And before either of them could do more than blush, he disappeared through the door.

“He’s subtle,” Crowley muttered after some length of time between a minute and an hour – if felt more like an hour to him, but he knew it was probably closer to the minute side.

“Always has been,” Dean groaned, running a hand over his face.

Crowley glanced at Dean out of the corner of his eyes. “I can just go.”

Dean looked at him for the first time since Sam had left. “No, I… I do want to talk to you.”

“Alright?” His voice was casual, but his mind was reeling again.

It took Dean a minute to figure out what to say. “I… Well, do… Okay, is it even _possible_ for demons to… have feelings for someone? As in, beyond even friendship?”

“Is it possible for demons to like someone? That’s what you’re asking?”

“Yeah, I-I guess.”

Crowley hesitated. Yes, that was the answer. It was rare, incredibly so, and when it _did_ happen, it wasn’t exactly advertised, but Crowley was proof that it was possible. But he knew the question that would then follow, and it wasn’t one he wanted to answer.

Of course, in a perfect world, he’d say yes to this question, then the next, Dean would say he felt the same, and they’d live happily ever after. But Dean still had Castiel, no matter whatever feelings he might have for him. And Sam was right, Dean and Cas were happy, and Crowley wasn’t sure that, even if Dean did choose him, he could make him happier. Besides, he deserved better than a demon – he deserved an angel.

He turned away from Dean, looking out the window on his side of the bed. “No.”

“Oh…” Dean’s voice was small and there was more pain in it than Crowley wanted to hear.

“Sorry to disappoint. Now you should probably go talk to your boyfriend.”

“Yeah… right….”

Crowley teleported away before he caved and told Dean the truth. As a demon, being selfless didn’t exactly come easy to him, but Dean always seemed to be his exception. Not that it mattered anymore, he’d probably never see him again.

* * *

 

Crowley was only through his first bottle of Scotch when Sam called him.

“Moose. What do you want?”

“Why did you lie to Dean?”

Crowley groaned. He did _not_ want to talk about this, least of all with Sam. “He told you about that?”

“Yeah, I asked when it came up that the two of you aren’t getting together.”

“He could have just chosen to stay with Cas.” He poured himself another drink.

“Crowley, he and Cas broke up.”

Some of the Scotch spilled over the side of the glass. “What?”

“He wasn’t staying with Cas, regardless. I think he had just been in denial about his feelings for you, and so when he realized…”

“But I thought he was _happy_ with Cas.”

There was a brief hesitation on the other end of the line. “You thought he would be better off,” Sam realized.

“Obviously.”

“Talk to him.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I just told him that it is literally _impossible_ for me to have feelings for him.”

“I don’t know, you’ll figure something out. Call him.” Sam’s voice made it clear that he wasn’t going to negotiate on this, but Crowley was used to ignoring that voice.

“I doubt he’d even pick up the phone for me.”

“Then I’ll have him meet you somewhere.”

“You _want_ me to be with your brother?” Sam’s enthusiasm was surprising, to say the least.

“He likes you. A lot. And you’ve made it pretty clear how much you care about him. So no, you’re not my favorite person, Crowley, but that’s not really what’s important here.”

“Thanks, moose, I’m touched.” The corners of his lips twitched up as he pushed the untouched glass away and rose to his feet. “Where will you send him?”

“There’s a grocery store a couple miles from the bunker. We’re running low on food, anyway.”

“I know the one.” He walked over to glance in the mirror, quickly deciding that he should freshen up first. “So, you going to make a move on Castiel?”

Sam sighed. “No.”

“Why not? He’s available.”

“Yeah, and he thinks of me as his ex’s little brother. It’s never going to happen.”

“Not with thinking like that.”

“Just patch things up with Dean.” The line disconnected.

Half an hour later found a rather more nervous than usual Crowley scanning the aisles of a grocery store until he saw a familiar figure putting a bag of hamburger buns into his cart. Crowley took a deep breath as he walked up to Dean before he had a chance to rethink this.

“Dean…”

Dean spun around, his eyes growing wide before they narrowed. “What the _hell_ are you doing here?” his voice was a mixture of anger and pain that didn’t surprise Crowley, but hurt nonetheless.

Crowley knew that no answer he could give would do, so instead he grabbed Dean by his jacket and pulled him into a kiss. It had seemed like such a simple plan, he hadn’t thought to account for the fact that he would actually be _kissing Dean._ He got lost in the sensation, forgot why he had come here, why he was nervous, forgot everything except for him and Dean. And Dean even kissed him back at first, but he seemed to remember everything much sooner than Crowley, because suddenly he was grabbing the demon roughly by the shoulders and shoving him away.

Crowley blinked up at Dean as he remembered himself, his heart plummeting as he saw Dean looking down at him in disgust. “This is low, even for you,” Dean hissed.

“What do you-?”

“I tell you I have feelings for you, and you turn it into a joke.”

“Wait, no, _Dean,_ that’s not-”

_“Save it._ Just because I like you, doesn’t mean I’m going to let you use me.” He started to turn away.

“I _lied!”_ Crowley nearly shouted.

Dean glanced around briefly, nodding politely at some staring passerby, and waiting until they disappeared around the corner to focus on Crowley again, mild confusion in his expression now. “What?”

“I… I thought you would be better off with Cas. I didn’t know you were going to break up with him, anyway.”

His eyebrows furrowed, his confusion becoming more pronounced. “How did you even find out about that?”

“Sam called me, rather distressed that we were not riding off into the sunset together.”

“Wha…? _Sam…? Sam_ wants us to get together? We’re thinking of the same Sam here, right?”

Crowley sighed. “He apparently thinks that you’ll be happy with me. I have proven I’m worthy of you, or whatever.”

Dean crossed his arms over his chest and huffed a sigh. “Alright, I’m listening.”

“Sam already knew I had feelings for you, we had talked about it, and he had pointed out how happy you were with Castiel. So when you asked me about my feelings back at the motel… I thought it was for the best to lie. So then whenever you told Samantha that I’m incapable of having those feelings, he knew it was a lie, and proceeded to call me and demand that I talk to you. And now here I am.” He gave a small shrug, trying to pretend that this wasn’t the most nervous he had ever been in his life.

“So you _do_ have feelings for me?” It almost seemed as though he was scared to hope for it.

“I have for longer than I’d care to admit.”

Dean nodded slowly, clearly thinking things over. After a minute, his gaze focused on Crowley again. “So, now what?”

“Dinner?” Crowley offered.

The corners of Dean’s lips twitched up. “You’re buying.”

“Of course.” The demon was positively beaming, and Dean’s smile grew as he looked at him.

“Alright, I just need to pick up a few more things and take this stuff back to the bunker, then we can go.”

“I’ll help you.”

Crowley ensured that Dean remembered to pick up salad fixings for Sam – after all, he owed him far more than that – and then he rode with Dean back to the bunker. Sam offered to put the groceries away without them even having to ask, and then Crowley was teleporting himself and Dean to his favorite restaurant. Needless to say, it was a far better night than drowning himself in Scotch would have been.

* * *

 

It was a few months later, when Dean was off on a hunt with his brother, that Crowley walked into a bar to see a familiar trenchcoat-clad figure sitting at the bar. Despite the fact that his main issue with Castiel had always been his relationship with Dean, it had not been the only reason, and his hatred of him had not changed all that much. Still, he did not like owing a debt to anyone, even his boyfriend’s little brother.

“Since when do angels hang out at bars?” he asked casually as he took the seat beside him.

Castiel looked over at him in surprise. “What are you doing here, Crowley?”

“Same as you, having a drink.” He flagged over the bartender, ordering both himself and Castiel a Scotch.

“You did not have to do that,” the angel muttered as the drink was placed in front of him.

Crowley shrugged, keeping his eyes on his own drink. “I figure I owe you at least that much.”

Castiel watched the demon out of the corner of his eyes. “Because of Dean?”

“Well, I did steal him from you.”

“No, you didn’t.” Crowley looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Dean made his own choice. All I want is for him to be happy.”

Crowley huffed a laugh as he brought his drink to his lips. “Then we’re in the same boat, there.”

“I would hope as much…” Castiel murmured, almost more to himself, before piercing Crowley with a sharper gaze. “Crowley, I hold no resentment towards you, aside from the fact that I did not like you to begin with. I have even gotten over my feelings for Dean and can once again view him as just a friend However, as his friend, I am uneasy about him being in a relationship with the King of Hell.”

Crowley had to fight a smile as Castiel gave his speech. “Have you talked to Sam about this?”

“Of course. I am aware that he trusts you, and I trust his judgement; it is why I have not sought you out to talk to you myself. I would still like to hear it from you, though.”

Crowley sighed as he turned to face Castiel more fully. “I love Dean, I have since before the two of you got together. I care about him so much that I tried to get him to stay with you because I figured he’d be better off.”

Castiel nodded thoughtfully. “I do not believe that Dean and I would have worked out even if he had not realized his feelings for you.”

“Good to know.” The corners of Crowley’s lips twitched up in a sly grin. “Maybe you’ll find someone else, too.”

“I am beginning to wonder if I am, as I believe the phrase is, ‘boyfriend material.’” He formed air-quotes around the words. He certainly wasn’t wrong, as far as the demon was concerned, but he was here for a reason.

“Neither am I. It all depends on finding the right person.”

“I suppose…” He sounded doubtful as he turned to his drink.

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re doing better. I know Sam was pretty worried about you.”

“Sam is a very caring person.”

“Yes, but he cares about you in particular.”

Castiel looked at him thoughtfully, and Crowley hoped for a second that he had gotten the hint, but then he just smiled softly and said, “Yes, we are rather close. He is a very dear friend.”

Crowley glowered at his half-empty glass in frustration. “Friend… right…”

Cue constipated angel. “Your tone seems to imply that you do not believe Sam and I are friends.”

“Well, it’s just that he really seemed to take it personally when Dean broke up with you.”

“I am sure that he was worried that things would become awkward between the three of us.”

“I don’t think so. It seemed more along the lines of he was pissed at Dean for giving you up.”

“He was always very supportive of the two of us. I imagine that he thought we were good together.”

Crowley knew that Castiel wasn’t the best at picking up on subtleties, but this was getting ridiculous. _“Or_ perhaps he was thinking that if he ever got the chance to be with you, he wouldn’t give you up.”

Surprise washed over Castiel’s face and Crowley felt a wave of relief. About damn time. “You are under the impression that Sam has romantic feelings for me?”

“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’ with a smirk.

Castiel thought about it for a minute before shaking his head. “Sam is the most caring person I know, and I am very lucky to be one of the people that he cares about most. That does not mean that his feelings toward me are of romantic intent.”

“Yes, but if you take into account the way he looks at you, talks about you, etcetera, then yes, it does.”

It took Castiel another few seconds to mull that over. “He talks about me?” he finally asked.

“Oh, yes. He has an annoying tendency to go on about how amazing you are, how you deserve the absolute best, and how he falls more for you every day.” Alright, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it looked like it was necessary if he was going to get anywhere with this. Crowley smirked as he watched the surprise on Castiel’s face grow more pronounced.

“You’re lying.”

“Why would I? I have nothing to gain from this. I’m simply repaying Sam for him helping Dean and me get together.”

“So he asked you to say this?”

“God, no. But if he has it his way, he’ll suffer in silence for an eternity rather than risk rejection from you.”

“That’s why he has never said anything? He’s afraid that I will not return his feelings?”

“Yeah, and if he’s right, just carry on pretending you don’t know. I just thought I’d put it out there, just in case.” He shrugged, taking another sip of his drink as Castiel sat deep in thought beside him.

“Did he mention how long he has had these feelings for me?”

Crowley sighed. “Not sure. They just started growing, he said.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “And why exactly did he tell you all of this? He does not even like you.”

“Well, we were kind of in the same boat not too long ago. It was a bonding experience.”

The corners of his lips pulled down slightly in a frown. “He felt this way while… but he always seemed so supportive of Dean and mine’s relationship.”

“Yeah, like I said, he thinks you deserve the best. I’m not the only one who thinks that’s Dean.”

Castiel stared down at the bar in silence for long enough for Crowley to finish his drink and order a second one. “I wish I had known sooner,” he finally said softly. “I never thought he felt the same, so when Dean asked me… The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him.”

Crowley’s head snapped back in his direction. “Wait, so… you’ve had a thing for Sam this entire time?”

“I suppressed it because I assumed…”

“Ask him out.”

“I-I have never asked anyone out before.”

“Well, it’s not like you can mess it up, the guy’s in love with you.”

“That does not mean I cannot mess it up. I have a tendency to do so.”

Crowley shook his head irritably. “Would it help if I shoved him at you so that you can just make out?”

“No, it would not.”

“You’re on your own, then.” He pulled out his phone as it vibrated, seeing that he had received a message from Dean.

_‘Hunt was a piece of cake. Sam and I are stopping for a drink. Meet up later?’_

He grinned at his phone before it dawned on him that this was Dean’s usual bar, so more than likely… He turned to look back towards the entrance as the Winchesters walked in. They didn’t seem to notice him or Castiel yet; Dean headed towards the bathroom as Sam began to make his way to the bar. Crowley quickly nudged the angel to his left, jerking his head in the direction of the hunter.

Castiel looked around in mild confusion before he saw Sam and his eyes grew wide. A moment later, Sam’s eyes moved in their direction and he came to a stop in front of them, surprise on his features.

“Cas, hey! And Crowley… what are you doing here?” Confusion saturated his voice as he glanced between the two of them.

Castiel took a deep breath before he rose to his feet, holding eye-contact with Sam. “Sam, I had no idea of your feelings for me.”

_Dammit, this’ll go over well,_ Crowley thought as Sam’s eyes widened in something close to horror before his gaze snapped to Crowley.

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Oh, you’ll change your mind in about two seconds,” he waved off the threat with a roll of his eyes.

Castiel reached forward, taking hold of Sam’s hand in both of his and Sam’s breath caught as he turned back to him. “When I first met you, Sam Winchester, the way I viewed both Heaven and humanity changed. I could not reconcile everything that the angels said about you with the man standing before me. Your soul burned so bright, so beautifully, and from that moment, I was lost. I was so certain that you did not return my feelings, and I came to terms with that. I managed to suppress what I felt for you, to develop feelings for Dean, instead. But deep down, it has always been you, and it always will be. I apologize for not saying anything sooner.”

Sam was rendered speechless, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to find the right words. Eventually, he just gave up and kissed him.

“Um…”

Crowley turned around to see a flabbergasted Dean staring at Sam and Castiel. “Oh, hello, darling.”

Dean looked down at him with a small grin. “Hey… I get the feeling I missed something.”

Crowley shrugged. “Hope you don’t mind your brother dating your ex.”

“Not at all. Did you have something to do with this?”

“I owed Sam one.”

“Good of you.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “Now, don’t get carried away.”

Dean chuckled. “Hey, so it looks like Sam’s gonna be occupied for the night. You wanna head out?”

Crowley raised an eyebrow. “Do you know me?”

Dean smiled as he took a step closer to where Sam and Castiel were still locked together, clearing his through. “Uh, sorry to interrupt…”

They pulled away from each other, Sam’s cheeks turning bright red as he looked at his brother. “Uh, Dean! I, um…”

“You can explain tomorrow.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “Crowley and I are going to head out, so just… use protection, alright?”

Sam’s eyes widened in mortification, but whatever he was about to say was lost as Dean took hold of Crowley’s hand and he took the cue to teleport them back to his place.


End file.
